Ron Alexander: In my recent travels with Mary (she does not like public posts), she called me out when I unconsciously went into my Capt. Ron controlling mode. It really helped me catch that aggressive male part of me that has a lot of angry tone to it. I am a better, more humbly aware person because of that trip. Thank you Mary. Ron Alexander
WORDS OF WISDOM for men mostly and for women to understand men better.
“Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother for your baby, your anger. The moment you begin to practice breathing mindfully in and out, you have the energy of a mother, to cradle and embrace the baby. Just embracing your anger, just breathing in and breathing out, that is good enough. The baby will feel relief right away. All”
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Anger
Eileen Workman
Women are mainly "taught" from a very early age that to express anger is a risky thing. Expressing anger when you are generally smaller and weaker than those toward whom you feel anger sets up the prospect that the other person will react to your anger with anger of their own...leading to physical violence that can be a devastating mismatch of power for a female. So we learn quickly to suppress our anger and instead play peacemaker, and to "quiet down" the angry energies other people may be expressing. We learn to FEAR anger.
Men are mainly "taught" from a very early age that to express vulnerability is a risky thing. Expressing vulnerability when you are generally bigger and stronger than others creates an opening for them to assault you when you would otherwise be physically impervious to assault--or at least well matched--should one occur. So men learn quickly to conceal their emotional vulnerability and to puff themselves up with false bravado in order to divert attention from their potential inner weaknesses. They learn to FEAR vulnerability.
What happens though, when we relinquish these deeply conditioned fears? Women become free at last to release their long-suppressed, righteous anger over how they have been mistreated--and have allowed it--out of fear of what their anger, unleashed, might trigger. And men become free at last to experience the genuine love and intimacy that results from being able, at last, to lower their guard that walks out others, and to drop the burden of false bravado they have carried for far too long.
What happens when men relax and allow women to express anger without compulsively trying to "out-anger" them back into submissive, fearful silence? And what happens when women allow men to express their vulnerabilities without going on the attack because they sense weakness?
I invite you to run the experiment for yourself and find out. 
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