Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.
A relationship can be an exciting path to the unknown. It offers an ever-present opportunity to grow spiritually — a path to transformation and mutual discovery and ultimately the divine when partners open to one another.
The concept of spirituality derives from “spiritus,” meaning vitality or breath of life. Like an electric charge, our soul awakens when we’re connected to that force. The more we’re aligned to it, the stronger and more alive is our soul. We tap into this power each time we express ourselves authentically.
Consider spiritual concepts, such as faith, surrender, truth, compassion, and love. As we practice these principles in our relationships, they have a synergistic effect, reinforcing one another and strengthening us.
Faith is the first spiritual premise. A relationship with a higher source or higher power, however defined, must be our priority because, when we make someone or something (like an addiction or ambition) more important, we not only live in fear, but we also lose ourselves — our soul.
In relationships, faith in a higher power enables us to surrender our well-being and self-worth to something other than another person. It helps us rise above our fears and build autonomy and self-esteem. When we trust that we won’t disintegrate from loneliness, fear, shame, or abandonment, we’re able to brave rejection and separateness from our partner.
Surrender requires patience, which also comes from faith. If we want to relinquish controlling our relationships, we must have the confidence to wait. On the other hand, when our fears and defenses are activated, we end up hurting the relationship in our attempts to maintain it.
Our spiritual and psychological development soars when we speak and act congruently in alignment with our Self, especially when we feel we have the most to lose. With faith we gain the courage to chance our partner’s displeasure and speak the truth. Honest, authentic and assertive communication replaces passive and/or aggressive attempts to please and manipulate. Expression of our vulnerability invites others to be vulnerable also. This builds our spiritual power, resiliency, and autonomy. By giving loving, non-interfering attention, a safe, healing environment is created. When reciprocated, we no longer feel the need to hide, and our ability to risk and be vulnerable grows. Then true intimacy becomes possible.
Acceptance is essential for satisfying relationships. Yet, we can only accept and have compassion for our partner to the degree to which we accept and have compassion for ourselves.
Compassion develops from self-knowledge and self-acceptance. It requires we surrender the demands of our ego to live up to unrealistic, unforgiving demands and expectations. When we understand our own and our partner’s tender points and struggles — our “triggers” — we become less reactive. Then we can listen without judgment, without taking our partner’s thoughts and feelings so personally.
Bridges of mutual empathy with our partner permit us to achieve deeper levels of acceptance and compassion for ourselves and one another. We stop clinging to expectations and ideas about how we and our partner should be. Instead, we experience both our Self and our partner as unique and separate.
Anxiety and the need for defensive behaviors that cause problems in relationships gradually dissolve. The relationship becomes a haven for two souls to experience themselves and each other in a space of love and respect. As trust grows, the relationship makes space for greater freedom and acceptance.
Defenselessness is not a stance of weakness. It is not about becoming a doormat or allowing oneself to be abused or treated badly. It is about seeking refuge in the Divine Source inside our hearts- that provides us with our true strength and protection, that is mightier than an army of a thousand soldiers. When we connect to this Source, we are protected, guided and assured of safety in all situations.
I invite you to pause and reflect.
Where in your life do you feel the need to defend? What triggers a sense of defensiveness in you?
Where in your body do you feel that sense of defensiveness- that sense of contraction and perhaps even a pressure?
Can you allow yourself to simply sit and explore this sensation?
Remember, you are not trying to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ anything outside or even within yourself. This is just an invitation to observe, explore and allow yourself to be present to yourself in a deep way. A way that can perhaps allow for a stance of softening around this defense.
Take your time, be easy and be curious. Invite your Inner Guide to be with you and allow for miracles to flow in your life as well!
It is from this place of inner peace that I will receive the guidance to take my role in the undoing of the game of fear. In this quiet place, left open and clear of the dreams of fear, I am guided to let my belief in weakness disappear. I am guided by the strength of my true, eternal safety. I am guided to accept God’s gifts, which help me remember I am safe and cannot be harmed in truth. I am guided to lay aside what was never real and see the Light of Christ in my brothers instead.
Ego is only of the mind. It is not of the body. Ego identifies with the body but is not at home in the body and transcends individual bodies. Ego is the part of the mind that individualizes, that thinks it is separate from God. The ego is the part of mind that dreams the dreams to experience various situations, but then gets lost in its own little kingdom surrounded by defenses.
The Voice for God is everywhere. It is in all things, all places, all people. Only the ego mind sees them as apart from God. Nothing is apart from God, no matter what the appearances. The body life is neutral. It is only a mental construction. It means only what I think it means.
It is only in laying down the ego defenses that I can find my True Self. I can only find this in my mind. It is in my mind where I truly live. It is only in mind that I can find my True Self because this is where I truly live. Today I choose the meaning that comes from my True Self. Today I choose to lay down the falsely constructed ego defenses, with the help of Holy Spirit. For it is only in my defenselessness that I find my True Strength. When I see Oneness in my mind, then I see Oneness everywhere.
I had a very busy day. Lots to get done, tight time schedule, unexpected stresses. I didn’t remember every hourly prayer, but before I left for work I asked Holy Spirit to make me aware of each time I was feeling defensive. It made for an interesting day. Mostly a lot of little things that normally I would not have paid a lot of attention to but cumulatively would have worn me down. Things like having an old man pull out in front of me and nearly cause a wreck. I could feel my forehead wrinkling and my mouth turning down in disapproval. I thought to myself, “What are you doing, you old fart?”
Then I heard Holy Spirit reminding me that I didn’t need to defend myself against old farts, and I felt a sense of gratitude that I was sent this reminder. Over and over today I found that I was giving away my peace in an effort to protect and defend my body. There were many opportunities for me to see that I have been responding to all kinds of perceived threats with defensiveness. It also gave me many opportunities to choose differently, to offer my bothers love instead. It felt good to do this. This is another of those lessons I need to work on daily for about a year!
© 2003, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the Earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us.
ME, I HAVE HAD NO LUCK DROPPING FEAR, HOWEVER I FIND THAT TO FEEL IT AND I CAN DRAW NEARER TO ALL ANY WAY.
Our use of language, written or spoken, offers us the generous opportunity to dance with our imagination.
I thank You God for most this amazing day
For the leaping greenly spirits of trees
And a blue true dream of sky
And for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes
I who have died am alive again today
And this is the sun's birthday
This is the birth day of life and of love and wings
And of the gay great happening illimitably earth
How should tasting, touching, hearing, seeing, breathing any
Lifted from the no of all nothing
Human merely being doubt unimaginable You?
Now the ears of my ears awake
And now the eyes of my eyes are opened
Sometimes kindness takes the form of stepping aside, letting go of our need to be right, and just being happy for someone.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically – kind, fair, true, generous – but to be that time after time, you need courage.
We live in a universe of awe-inspiring creative potential—in nature, in our fellow humans, in the evolutionary process, and certainly in ourselves.
The Definitions of "Epiphany"
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.
wow, so beautiful to see and thank you for your sharing tonight. good being together in this way across the miles but heart connection present. service from the heart does bring joy. tagore well knew what he was talking about. all blessings. love, t.
:Dear Tomas, best teaching ever tonight, thank you Sir!Why that quote from ACIM means so much to me is that being brought up by a workaholic Father, is there was always tension around "working hard". I learned to relax thinking of that quote, and I still worked, however with a relaxed Beingness, so the quality of my workincreased dramatically. To relax, I use a lot of tools, including mindful meditation very often, with the goal of being mindful moment by moment, Especially mindful of being of service which brings me joy. (A balance between doing and Being).
Your story and songs are very inspiring, breathing in gratitude, Ron Alexander By the way I live on James Island, half way between Charleston and Folly Island, where I go to a isolated River Inlet several times a week, and meditate at sunset, enjoying the beauty of nature.I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy. Rabindranath TagoreClouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.