My Dear Brothers Death in Viet Nam (Happy Memorial Day)

              We were at war but it was not called that.  Most citizens of this country did not understand why we were in Viet Nam, despite all the slick political slogans.  Three straight assassinations of our beloved (by most citizens) leaders shocked us into complacency or reaction.  I was in the Army because of the former - just too afraid and confused to say no!  My brother was already flying copters over there.  They could not send me because of "no two brothers at the same time" law.  I was sent to Alaska instead.
             
                 In late 1968, I was finishing a half year of service in the medical corps. in Alaska.  Nixon, who had was elected largely because of campaign promise of a “secret plan to get us out of Nam.”  Then when elected, he talked about needing “honorable peace” before we withdrew.  Barry, my brother had refused to fly "gun ships" helicopters anymore. He wrote me that he had “nothing against the Vietnamess people, and most of them wanted us out of there (sound familiar?).  He would only fly "medivacs" and teach new pilots how to fly them.  He had less than a month to go and out of the thirteen month duty, the chopper pilots were supposed to not have to fly combat the last month.  He was pressed into duty anyway and with only two weeks left, he flew into a "booby trap".  He came home in a body bag.  My beloved brother Barry was dead!  I was confused, angry, afraid and filled with pain. Later, found out it was called grief and survivors' guilt.

    After finishing my time, going back to school, and learning how to cruise - I sailed away in reaction. I had been let go of my hospital lab job, because I refused to cut my beard off.  A year later, most of the doctors. who had claimed that my beard could spread germs, had beards. Possibly, besides becoming politically correct, as a result of sailing away with the most beautiful woman working there.  Morever, it was Watergate time, and I did not want to hear, see or read about any political stuff.  I was sick and tired still full of pain and anger.  After cruising for a few months, I came back for oral surgery after seeing a sign on Crooked Island saying "Dentist - licensed to pull teeth only."   After surgery, I was sitting at a 7-11 waiting for a ride.  I was looking at a newspaper for the first time in six months.  Shockingly to me, the headline stated "President Ford".  I missed the whole transition and was relieved that I had. 

    What I have found out over the years is that our country is not perfect by any means, but our founding fathers had the best idea for a government that has ever been carried out and that starts with the "Declaration for Independence."  We are a rare country in that we have freedom of religion - a separation of church and state.  In my cruising around the world (most of it anyway), I have found almost all governments are much infested with the reigning religion making it hard on nonbelievers.

 

    I think spiritual freedom is the only true freedom anyway, so I thank the Lord that I have the free will to choose to live in this beloved United States of America or elsewhere.  I choose freedom to sail and worship the way I want to!  My wish is that Sept. 11 has united us and given us the wisdom to really honor that freedom of religion for everybody!  Thomas Kinkade stayed up all night sketching the flag and New York City in the background after Sept. 11 and came up with LIGHT OF FREEDOM. Another master artist, Cao Yong, a refugee from China, went into seclusion for 2 months after Sept. 11, and painted a similar theme called FREEDOM.  After being jailed for painting “religious” subjects, Cao really appreciates our wonderful liberty.  Both Kinkade and Cao were inspired to paint magnificent canvases.

          Sailing around really helped, but watching a two hour documentary on Hitler, our freedom really “came home” to me.

Thank God , we have two strong but very different political parties. Unfortunately, the right has gone too extremely partisan as Bob Dole talked about today.

Although the truth is more likely in the middle of both of them, at least, in this country, we have a choice.  Just like God has given us a free will, so has our country for the most part.  Beware of any politician trying to take away any of our precious liberty. Just as a bird (Eagle here) as to have balanced right and left wings to fly so does our country need that balance between conservatism and liberalism.  Possibly, even more important is that an Eagle have a strong body (the middle, centrists, independents, & moderates) to support the wings.

          Creating this article and the collages is good therapy. I recommend creative work/play as a way of healing from guilt and survivors guilt. Don’t worry about the outcome, just do it for your own sake. And maybe it can even help someone else eventually? Without helping your own healing, you probably will not help anyone else.
 
Deep Sorrow can lead to Deep Joy
Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
Rumi