The Healing of Grief

‎Ron Alexander_
Grief is very complicated and the most healing action is to be very gentle with yourself, creative pursuit, group and/or friend support, meditate, prayer - even very simple actions like taking a hot bath, read inspirational lit.films - humor - saw great funny inspirational film today - Think Lke a Man...book also by Steve Harvey.
Jeanne Porter Ashley Good movie, thanks! Very deep - surprisingly deep -- good for Steve Harvey and the screenwriter! Thanks for suggesting we see it!
 

Ron Alexander To me the worst part of grief is anger and bargaining - and both should be seen as normal. "Bargaining" is the crazy-making thinking - "Why me, why him, why her, why now, why why why????? Elizabeth Kubler came up with DABDA - Denial (important at first to make funeral arrangements, or other vital changes to deal with loss), Anger (You will be angry at person who died, at yourself for "not doing enough" - be gentle with yourself), Bargaining, D (forgot that one for now?) Acceptance is ideally the final successful stage - unfortunately it is not a linear process - it is circular and the going around and around can go on for a long time - so accepting the circularity is vital. I still have grief about my dear Brother Barry killed in Viet Nam complicated by my survivors guilt as I was in the Army at same time NOT in Viet Nam. I am thinking of going to Viet Nam on a Healing/Good Will trip this summer with Dr. John Fischer who goes every year, and testifies to the healing for himself as a  young combat soldier there. His organization is A Soldiers Heart!

Lindsay Lock Butler The 2nd D is depression.

 

Ron Alexander Thanks Lindsay Lock Butler - how could forget DEPRESSION. Ft.Walton is where my Brother Barry was trained to be helicopter pilot I believe, he went on to fly Medivac choppers and was killed with only2 weeks left.

 

Lindsay Lock Butler How sad. At least he is in a better place where pain cannot touch him anymore. And someday I sincerely believe that there'll be the biggest kickingest party in heaven and all we love and have lost (for a moment) will be there. And the loss and the pain will be but a moment in the eternal basking of love.

Ron Alexander Think like man, act like a woman! Some men think Harvey is a traitor to our gender, however I think it is an important book for all of us!