The
first time I remember experiencing a sense of freedom was as a child looking
over the horizon of the ocean, and wondering what was on the other side, and
just being at the beach away from the family and all the bickering. Then, when
I was older, I was hitchhiking away from my school. It was a
beautiful day, the horizons seem unlimited. Wow, I felt, I could just keep on
going. Even later, I started sailing and crossing the gulfstream toward the
Bahamas, I experienced that same elation. Sailing and hitchhiking became large
for that sense of freedom for years. I did both abundantly, including Europe
and many islands all over most of the world.
In 1985, I was
accepted into Grad. School in San Francisco, I sold my beloved boat, and with
one back pack one duffel bag and one
beautiful dog, I flew out there. That was obviously another symbol and
sense of freedom. However, I learned in the somatic therapy training in grad.
school, I was loaded down with anger and anxiety from childhood abuse and
no matter how much "transcendence" from my yoga-trained
meditation, I practiced, it was not going away. The painful
emotions were stored away deeply in my cells, and every therapist and
"psychic" I worked with could sense it. With bodywork and
mindful meditation, I experienced the painful senses. The pain was so intense,
that I literally almost couldn't bear it! Yet, I knew I could not
"transcend" it, like I used to think I could, and so many people I
know today think they can.
It seemed like the more I
knew, the more confused I would get, and the pain did not get any better. Perhaps,
the answer is to clear my mind, like I can do slowly with mindful meditation,
and have more clarity in my life. That is what appears to be happening lately.
Byron Katie says “confusion is the basis of all suffering.” And her The Work’ a
turn-around process, has really helped.
Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. came
to Charleston, and I attended his
workshop called “Living a Life of Awareness & The Five Levels of
Attachment”. He, also, works with becoming clear – “Become aware of how you
confuse what you know for who you are.” The attachments to beliefs cause the
confusion – “gain awareness of how your attachments have created your reality.”
And get past “creating your identity based on the opinions and judgements of
others around you.” He says to “take back your power by letting go of the fear
of what you are without your beliefs.” Then make new Agreements that are more
in line with your true Authentic Self.”
Ruiz jr.: 1. Born without knowledge - You are Unconditional Love.
2. Optimum existence with knowledge is awareness of choice, being able to say yes or no, depending on circumstance.
3. Attached knowledge that causes some confusion - avg. life.
4. Attached knowledge with little awareness - not a very happy life.
5. Attached to knowledge that becomes such importance, that one closes heart - will die for their beliefs. Extremists!
Ruiz jr.: 1. Born without knowledge - You are Unconditional Love.
2. Optimum existence with knowledge is awareness of choice, being able to say yes or no, depending on circumstance.
3. Attached knowledge that causes some confusion - avg. life.
4. Attached knowledge with little awareness - not a very happy life.
5. Attached to knowledge that becomes such importance, that one closes heart - will die for their beliefs. Extremists!
Based on these two great
teachers, I would say True Freedom is being aware in the present moment of the
confusion based on the attachment to your “knowledge, beliefs of as Byron Katie
calls ‘your story.’ And to get past these “distorted filters” to who you really
are – a LoveLight shining unconditional Love everywhere. Ron Alexander
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