FORGIVENESS
is a heartache and difficult to achieve because strangely, the act of forgiveness not only refuses to eliminate the original wound, but actually draws us closer to its source. To approach forgiveness is to close in on the natur...e of the hurt itself, the only remedy being, as we approach its raw center, to reimagine our relation to it.
It may be that the part of us that was struck and hurt can never forgive, and that forgiveness itself never arises from the part of us that was actually wounded. The wounded self may be the part of us incapable of forgetting, and perhaps, not meant to forget…
Stranger still, it is that wounded, branded, un-forgetting part of us that eventually makes forgiveness an act of compassion rather than one of simple forgetting…
Forgiveness is a skill, a way of preserving clarity, sanity and generosity in an individual life, a beautiful question and a way of shaping the mind to a future we want for ourselves; an admittance that if forgiveness comes through understanding, and if understanding is just a matter of time and application then we might as well begin forgiving right at the beginning of any drama, rather than put ourselves through the full cycle of festering, incapacitation, reluctant healing and eventual blessing.
…at the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now, we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at our very end, that necessary absolution ourselves.
©2014 David Whyte
Excerpted from ‘FORGIVENESS’ From the upcoming book of essays CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
is a heartache and difficult to achieve because strangely, the act of forgiveness not only refuses to eliminate the original wound, but actually draws us closer to its source. To approach forgiveness is to close in on the natur...e of the hurt itself, the only remedy being, as we approach its raw center, to reimagine our relation to it.
It may be that the part of us that was struck and hurt can never forgive, and that forgiveness itself never arises from the part of us that was actually wounded. The wounded self may be the part of us incapable of forgetting, and perhaps, not meant to forget…
Stranger still, it is that wounded, branded, un-forgetting part of us that eventually makes forgiveness an act of compassion rather than one of simple forgetting…
Forgiveness is a skill, a way of preserving clarity, sanity and generosity in an individual life, a beautiful question and a way of shaping the mind to a future we want for ourselves; an admittance that if forgiveness comes through understanding, and if understanding is just a matter of time and application then we might as well begin forgiving right at the beginning of any drama, rather than put ourselves through the full cycle of festering, incapacitation, reluctant healing and eventual blessing.
…at the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now, we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at our very end, that necessary absolution ourselves.
©2014 David Whyte
Excerpted from ‘FORGIVENESS’ From the upcoming book of essays CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
Ron Alexander LIKE: Forgiveness is a skill, a way of preserving clarity, sanity and generosity in an individual life, a beautiful question and a way of shaping the mind to a future we want for ourselves; an admittance that if forgiveness comes through understanding, and if understanding is just a matter of time and application then we might as well begin forgiving right at the beginning of any drama, rather than put ourselves through the full cycle of festering, incapacitation, reluctant healing and eventual blessing.
Ron Alexander LIKE: …at the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now, we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at our very end, that necessary absolution ourselves.
Ron Alexander Yep, thanks for the affirmation Rev. Richard Kent Matthews! I am struggling to forgive child abuse! I feel complete with Dad, but still have a hard time with Mom, who also shockingly disinherited me, which painfully re-opened a childhood wound of rejection. I am looking back at her wounding and reasons for being so angry with me near the end of her life?
Ron Alexander Oh Kristin Mahoney, I am writing a book about her now, poor Mom looks as if she had postpartum depression before that was a diagnosis, just as my Dad probably had PTSD from heavy fighting in WW11. In addition, this beleagured lady had 5 sons and my Dad taught us sexism - no household help for her. Then she had unconscious fear, that I was going to take control, while, in my mind, I was taking responsibility. Unconscious fear turns into anger and hatred unfortunately. I settled my problems with Dad, when I became his caregiver, but my Mom was pretty much out of it, when I became hers - the last 7 weeks of her life.
Mary Rose Yes there are many tools now for us to get back to our innocence for sure Ron, it is finding the right tool and facing with honesty what we wish to achieve that brings the light forward, shines the goodness and purity that we are and makes us whole again for sure xox
Ron Alexander I am finally realizing how toxic (to me) my resentment has been towards those who have hurt me - i WILL FORGIVE (finally), get well and move on!
Mary Rose Its the only way to fly bro, follow YOUR path, be the person YOU want to be, shine YOUR light on the world and you will be lighter than a feather xoxoxo
Mary Rose You have seen my post on obstacles right Ron, when we take our eyes off the path, all we see is obstacles, ( I call any emotional baggage and obstacle as well as a tree in the road mind you) keep eye on path... I will go graphic and post here
Ron Alexander Mary Rose I am on a path to forgive, and it has become a committment,thanks for affirming supporting and inspiring me on this "path"!
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