Sunday, January 5, 2014

Detachment

DETACHMENT by Adolfo Quezada

THE MEANING OF DETACHMENT


By learning detachment - not from others, but from my insistence on having things done "my way" I am learning the deeper meaning of love.

De~tachment seems to run counter to all that I believe about caring for others, yet it is the basis for true love.


De ~ tachment DOES NOT mean that I withdraw from others in apathy. It means that I LOVE others enough to let them live their own lives. It also means that I love myself enough TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS.

Attachment forces me to detach from myself and to become emotionally overinvolved in the affairs of others.


Attachment comes when I believe that I am responsible for the emotions and/or behavior of others. I play out this illusion by attempting to control their lives overtly or covertly. I become a master manipulator in my effort to influence how others will think, feel, or act.


My attachment appears innocent bcuz I do it "in the name of love, and/or "for their own good."

When I am overly attached to the lives of others, whether it is from my parental, spousal, friend or caregiver role, I tend to obsess and worry, I fill my mind with everything about the other/s, thus diverting the focus from myself.

As I attach, I find myself becoming emotionally dependent on others, & RE~acting to them instead of acting from MY OWN CENTER. The more I attach to them, the less I attach to myself. The more I try to control them, the less control I have over my own life. The more power I give to my obsession over them, the less power I have to take care of MYself.

I am reluctant to release my attachment becuz I believe it actually brings results for me. I am afraid to release my attachment bcuz then it will appear that I don't care.


Perhaps I fear even more that if I detach, I may discover that others can get along very well without my control and over involvement in their lives.

The DE ~ tachment I MUST do is from the life situations of others, NOT from persons themselves.


I need to detach in order to keep myself from becoming enmeshed with them to the point that I don't know where I end and they begin.

  • LOVE COMPELS ME TO RESPECT THE INDIVIDUALITY OF OTHERS and TO HONOR THEIR UNIQUE PERSONHODD, WHETHER OR NOT I AGREE WITH IT. 


Through DE~tachment I CAN stand back and allow others to be responsible for their own lives while at the same time, I protect myself from their behavior. 


Through DE~tachment I AM better able to assert myself in my own defense because I AM not so emotionally entangled.


  • I can set healthy boundaries that will protect me, or I MAY remove myself from the situation altogether when necessary. 


Above all, through DE~tachment I move from RE~acting to ACTING from the nature of MY true self.
 
DE ~ tachment is EASY TO DO.


It is possible with creator/love. It is to creator/love I MUST turn for the self ~ love that enables me to detach for my own sake and the sake of others. From love/creator I receive the emotional strength to release others from MY grip & to let them be free.


From love/creator I gain the courage to give up my assumed role as controller and to focus on what I NEED to do with MY OWN LIFE.

  • "WHEN I ATTEND TO MYSELF AND TO LOVE/CREATOR, I WILL BE LITTLE MOVED BY WHAT I SEE OUTSIDE MYSELF".
 
=========I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS PART OF MY DNA

WE ARE CO ~ CREATING TOGETHER... LET'S ROLL WITH THE POWER AND PASSION :) 

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