Heal the Ego

Dean A. Banks
The ego is a construct of our self-survival mechanism. It needs to feel secure and justifies that need by seeking to control the actions of its environment and others. In reality it can influence them but not ultimately control them.

Egotistic people need flexible people to exercise what they feel they must have in order to survive; to... control, dominate and manipulate the actions of others. Flexible people need egotistic people to provide direction and focus in moving forward. Both need each other to balance the desires of self with the desires of SELF.

If someone flexible is overly controlled and emotionally abused by someone egotistical, they can choose to understand the insecurities of the egotistical person and love them as they are. This doesn’t mean that they become a punching bag for that person. It means that they recognize the strength that they have to offer and temper that strength with their flexibility.

If they genuinely love the abuser and they have made inroads to help them to grow in their understanding, then there exists a possibility of positive expansion. If they are attached to the abuser because they believe their behavior towards them is love, then they are fooling themselves.

Abusive behavior is NOT love. Love is kind, gentle and understanding. Abuse is control, domination and manipulation toward a self-serving end. Abused children identify with the abusive parent because they want attention and they come to learn mistakenly that attention, no matter in what form, is love.

Love makes you feel good about whom you are and abuse doesn’t. A controlled person lives in a shadow of insecurity because it is safe and comfortable for them. It is the only place where they can justify the attention from an abuser.

Stretching oneself to the point of reality will reveal that no one deserves any form of abuse. If that is all an egotistical person can demonstrate is abuse, then remove yourself from them as soon as possible. Their growth is NOT dependent on your participation as being abused by them. ~Dean A. Banks, D.D.

Dear Dr. Dean, with all due respect to you and Nick. You are using new definitions of the ego from ACIM. While I love most of ACIM. The ego is a construct of Dr. Freud. He invented a triad system where the ego is the CONSCIOUS MEDIATOR between the id (our instinctual self) and the Super Ego (our Higher Self). The id sounds like it was confused with the ego in ACIM, and of course, we could not survive without it also. Gary Zukav has the best definition of the ego -"Earth Guide". While an out of balance ego is a problem - a egotisitical, egomaniac or a weak ego, they both come from the same source - a lack of self-worth. A healthy ego is what we all need while in this body. A great example of a healthy ego and out of balance egos were demonstrated in the Press Awards the other day with Obama demonstrating one of the healthiest egos I have ever seen and Trump vividly demonstrating an inflated one. So the work is actually to balance/heal the ego - our Conscious Mediator!

Ra Divakar ‎"Something More?" Sounds like you are referring to the "id" Dr. Dean however here is what I really think: "Now, scholars can be very useful and necessary, in their own dull and unamusing way. They provide a lot of information. It's just that there is Something More, and that Something More is what life is all about."
(THE TAO OF POOH by Benjamin Hoff)
Ron Alexander: The ego, according to A Course in Miracles is that part of us that believes that it is separate from God., and I believed in that definition for years. However, now I know that is dualistic thinking. I know that no part of me is "junk", as I have healed from my lack of self-worth. And I know there is "Something More"! lol!Ron Alexander: I am enjoying this dialogue Dr. Dean. You know I highly respect you, and agree with you almost always. I consider you a highly respected Divine Mirror Friend, and expect this to end up greatly, However, I am going to have to be off the computer now for over 6 hours.