Spiritual Bypassing are you living in avoidance?
" AVOIDANCE IN HOLY DRAG "
" Spiritual bypassing, a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It is much more common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive as to go largely unnoticed, except in its more obvious extremes.
Part of the reason for this is that we tend not to have very much tolerance, both personally and collectively, for facing, entering, and working through our pain, strongly preferring pain-numbing “solutions,” regardless of how much suffering such “remedies” may catalyze. Because this preference has so deeply and thoroughly infiltrated our culture that it has become all but normalized, spiritual bypassing fits almost seamlessly into our collective habit of turning away from what is painful, as a kind of higher analgesic with seemingly minimal side effects. It is a spiritualized strategy not only for avoiding pain but also for legitimizing such avoidance, in ways ranging from the blatantly obvious to the extremely subtle.
Spiritual bypassing is a very persistent shadow of spirituality, manifesting in many ways, often without being acknowledged as such. Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow elements, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.
The explosion of interest in spirituality, especially Eastern spirituality, since the mid-1960s has been accompanied by a corresponding interest and immersion in spiritual bypassing—which has, however, not very often been named, let alone viewed, as such. "
Any spiritual path, Eastern or Western, that does not deal in real depth with psychological issues, and deal with these in more than just spiritual contexts, is setting itself up for an abundance of spiritual bypassing. "
- Robert Augustus Masters
Social media is solid front loaded with spiritual bypassing.
When I enter a deeper life, a life of full-blooded integrity, depth, love, and sanity; a life of authenticity on every level; a life in which the personal, interpersonal, and transpersonal are all honored . I am on the path to living my life free of spiritual bypass, I am living life to the fullest.
Lauren
Ron Alexander Most people live a life of quiet desperation, and need all the tools they have learned to cope with life, and some "spiritual bypassing" can be a way to avoid suicide. I did a workshop with John Wellwood in the 80's and was unimpressed.
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Lauren Nicole Garceau Spiritual bypass will flat lead to suicide. A very dangerous comment you just made.
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Lauren Nicole Garceau Suicide is the ultimate expression of spiritual bypass. Checking out instead of checking in.
https://www.google.com/.../beware-spiritual-bypass%3famp
Removehttps://www.google.com/.../beware-spiritual-bypass%3famp
Ron Alexander Reflecting on it since, when I was first in grad. school, I was confronted about my inner feelings, and I tried to transcend them with the mantra meditation, I had learned in my yoga teachers training. The group and teachers would not let me get away with it. I had to face all the hurt and pain from childhood abuse, and go about healing, which is a constant process, so probably you are right?
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Lauren Nicole Garceau Ron Alexander I don't want to be right, to be honest. I disagree making you face all the hurt as well. Almost the opposite of bypass, would be forced to feel? No I just am saying that your feelings, emotions and needs are beautiful, important and whole. Feeling the depth of who we are is tapping into the love. That's all I am saying.
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Ron Alexander I have come to the conclusion as a long time meditator, that there has to be a balance between the transcendent Hindu meditations, and the deeper Buddhist Vipassanna meditations. The latter requires one to go deeply into the pain, feel it, and it to shall pass. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Suffering is when you identify or remain attached to the pain. The danger with psychology without spirituality, is that it can lead to the attachment to the diagnosis...
Lauren Nicole Garceau Ron Alexander we just shared similar feelings.
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Ron Alexander Thank you Lauren, this to me is dialogue, as opposed to discussion. Where we share without "dissing and cussing".
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Ron Alexander Being a Libra, balance is very impotant to me. As in meditation, there are times I need to transcend, as well as times to go deeper. Psychology without spirituality is unbalanced and same could be said of spirituality without psychology? The caveat is that I think Buddha was a great Psychologist.
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Tanja Diamond I can not imagine the need to transcend anything if you go deeper
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Ron Alexander Possibly, you did not face the extreme abuse that I had as a child?
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Tanja Diamond i wouldn't bet on that. I wrote a book about it as well as created a unique process to become fully restored
Ron Alexander "Fully restored" that is hard to believe, however I respect your work, and definitely want to know more. By the way, I have studied with lots of Masters, and even lived in their Ashrams, and none were really "perfect" as long as they were in their bodies.
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Tanja Diamond the interesting thing is the worst emotional pain or ACTUAL in the moment feeling only last 90 seconds. the rest of it is looping on the event and gestalts.
we can't sustain and real time emotion for longer than that... we can, however, loop indefinitely.
I once worked with twins who had been used since the age of 18 months to 15 years old in satanic rituals including sexual ones.
They were in their 40's when they came to me. They were my most challenging work because anyone abused as an infant is already harder and then the years and years of it was programmed pretty deeply.
13 months later they were within "normal" non abused human mode and were happy with that.
Im not soliciting to work with you. I am letting you know that what we believe affects us deeply and your ability to heal and restore is infinite.
there is no perfect, there isn't suppose to be, it goes against the laws of nature and the chaos.
restored is about not being a survivor anymore, it's about achieving personal freedom.
we can't sustain and real time emotion for longer than that... we can, however, loop indefinitely.
I once worked with twins who had been used since the age of 18 months to 15 years old in satanic rituals including sexual ones.
They were in their 40's when they came to me. They were my most challenging work because anyone abused as an infant is already harder and then the years and years of it was programmed pretty deeply.
13 months later they were within "normal" non abused human mode and were happy with that.
Im not soliciting to work with you. I am letting you know that what we believe affects us deeply and your ability to heal and restore is infinite.
there is no perfect, there isn't suppose to be, it goes against the laws of nature and the chaos.
restored is about not being a survivor anymore, it's about achieving personal freedom.
Ron Alexander Like:"I am letting you know that what we believe affects us deeply and your ability to heal and restore is infinite.
there is no perfect, there isn't suppose to be, it goes against the laws of nature and the chaos.
restored is about not being a survivor anymore, it's about achieving personal freedom". Thank you Tanja.\
there is no perfect, there isn't suppose to be, it goes against the laws of nature and the chaos.
restored is about not being a survivor anymore, it's about achieving personal freedom". Thank you Tanja.\
Ron Alexander Somehow, I think we are all talking about the "same normal Human traits of enjoying our escape fantasies, our naughty desserts, our occasional alcohol or weed high, our "transcendence" if you will, just not attaching to them or being addicted!
Ron Alexander So you don't have any escape mechanisms? Not even an occasional one?
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Lyric-Howard Jay Ginsberg Loving all of this. To me it is possible to hold both depth and height at the same time. Appreciating and prioritizing in the moment. They both have their uses (abd the concept or "differences" between them are human constructs...attemting to codify esoteric human experiences).
Ron Alexander For years, after my brother was killed in Vietnam, and I was not there because he was, I sailed away and even became a successful Sailing Captain. And I was definitely attempting to escape. And it was a beautiful thing. I went to grad. school after 13 years, when I found myself moored off the beautiful island of Nantucket, grieving a mate, who decide she had enough. All that grief came up at once, and I knew that no addictive substance would help, so at the grad. school I faced all those demons. And still years later, have some left in me. However, in Oct,ee I will turn 73 and have never felt so free.
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Tanja Diamond glad you feel that way
:)
Laureen De Shazer I admit to many of these spiritual bypassing mechanisms and use them when I need to and drop them when I don't. I have only recently learned of the term spiritual bypassing in the last couple of years and it makes sense. This week I learned of a spiritual blogger/ book author who publically posted his suicide note and it seemed filled with bullshit spiritual jargon for reasons why he should kill himself. It brought up a lot of anger in me because although he did have physical back pain, it was not a terminal disease. What really pissed me off was that he was a veteran and mentioned how hard it was for him to get the services and relief from the VA. The reason I mention this is beacsue he wrote that he was not patient and would not compromise his freedom because of the limitations caused by his sciatica. 
😔. I can post the link to his blog if you think it is something to support this post and are interested. Suicide is a very tender topic for me having delt with it in my garage one day, but it did help me in some way to read another suicide note of someone not so close to me...
Remove😔. I can post the link to his blog if you think it is something to support this post and are interested. Suicide is a very tender topic for me having delt with it in my garage one day, but it did help me in some way to read another suicide note of someone not so close to me...
Ron Alexander I volunteer at the VA, and have worked a lot with PTSD, and currently work with death and dying at the VA hospice.The VA really opened up to a lot of alternative healing in the last few years, and thankfully, Trump has not replaced the director. I have a feeling that it was not his "Sciatica" but his PTSD that led to his tragic decision. 22 veterans a day commit suicide, and the VA is attempting to relief these stats. with anything that may work. Grief is part of PTSD and it can be hard enough, however when you add in guilt to what you have seen and/or participated in combat, makes it sometimes almost impossible to heal. We have sailing programs, horseback riding, yoga, meditation, Reiki, mindfulness groups (most helpful to me). I have what is probably "secondary" ptsd from my brother's death? He had what is now called Acute Traumatic Stress Syndrome (ATSD), and now professionals are trying to get that into the medical diagnosis in combat, so they can be taken out of the battlefield. I saw the look on in face, in a photo, standing by his helicopter, and noticed there were bodybags in his chopper of which he was the pilot. When I showed this to the Director of the PTSD unit at the hospital, he came up with ATSD, which we hope can save the lives of many soldiers in the future. I have produced short award winning YouTube video about the effects of my Brother's death, it is called Dog Tags and Bodybags, in Memory of CWO Barry Alexander. You might want to look at it, as in the end it is life-affirming, just as Hospice work happens to be.
:)
Laureen De Shazer Ron, I agree about the PTSD being a potential fuel for the spiritual blogger's suicide. I am familia with the moral injuries combat vets live with and also applaud the VA for Implimenting alternative therapies such as mindfulness, yoga, acupuncture for pain, yet some vets fall through the system cracks trying to maneuver the delayed health care system. It can be tedious for them and I can see why they give up. I wish there were a better post combat debriefing period to help them recogniE the signs of depression, PTSD, trauma and the process for receiving resources. I teach trauma conscious yoga for Connected Warriors (vets and family members). Some of the vets in the wheelchair class have prescriptions for the yoga class
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Lauren Nicole Garceau Ron Alexander deep honored bow to your work with PTSD, veterans and prayers for the APTSD diagnosis to come into effect.
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Lauren Nicole Garceau Laureen De Shazer I also acknowledge you for the life affirming work you are doing for Veterans. Just when I feel your spirit can't get much sweeter to me, I learn something new.
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Ron Alexander Lauren Nicole Garceau Confused about "My answer was meant for your question Laureen De Shazer" - Did I make an assumption? Was that Laureen's process that you trusted? If so I apologize...
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Laureen De Shazer Ron Alexander I am also humbled to hear about your valuable volunteering contributions to the VA. When I read Wayne's good-bye note, I thought immediately about his unhealed veteran wounds more than it being a conscious crossing over as if he had conquered non-attachment. Perhaps this suicide blog note could some somehow help you in your work. Being trained to have warriors mentality and "serve", I think it is really hard for vets to ask for help because of shame, moral injury and survivor guilt (other people died, what am I complaining about?), Don't open it if you don't think it will serve you. So sorry to hear about your brother and I will also watch the short film you made in his honor.
http://waynewirs.com/2017/see-you-soon/
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Ron Alexander Very valuable thank you very much dear Laureen! And for your compassionate work!
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Ron Alexander I just watched the video, and I withhold my comments upon further reflection.
Prana Deva First off, I need to apologize if my thoughts here are not fully coherent, as I didn't sleep much last night. The author's list of spiritual bypassing aspects is excellent. For me the spiritual bypassing aspects that plagued me were a symptom of my control, listening more to my mind over my heart and gut, and my resistence to the divine.
There are times when a particular tool, say like meditation or yoga, is relevant for a person's spiritual growth. But like the Buddha's parable of the raft, once you've used a tool to get to the next step in your path, and the tool no longer serves, it's time to let the tool go. I agree with the author that psychological issues need to be addressed. But even psychology has it limits, and once it's benefits have been reaped, psychology needs to be set down. I see people not setting down the tools whose time has passed in many of the healing domains, whether it be healing diets, cleansing, herbalism, energy healing, or even one of my favorites, frequency healing (like Rife). For some chronically ill people a healing modality may seem to work, that is, symptoms are abated for awhile, but the person ultimately really never heals. This is the alternative health version of disease management/symptom suppression practiced in western medicine. Finding and eliminating the causes of one's disease is the secret to healing, and often those causes are spiritual.
RemoveThere are times when a particular tool, say like meditation or yoga, is relevant for a person's spiritual growth. But like the Buddha's parable of the raft, once you've used a tool to get to the next step in your path, and the tool no longer serves, it's time to let the tool go. I agree with the author that psychological issues need to be addressed. But even psychology has it limits, and once it's benefits have been reaped, psychology needs to be set down. I see people not setting down the tools whose time has passed in many of the healing domains, whether it be healing diets, cleansing, herbalism, energy healing, or even one of my favorites, frequency healing (like Rife). For some chronically ill people a healing modality may seem to work, that is, symptoms are abated for awhile, but the person ultimately really never heals. This is the alternative health version of disease management/symptom suppression practiced in western medicine. Finding and eliminating the causes of one's disease is the secret to healing, and often those causes are spiritual.
Lauren Nicole Garceau Oh my I saw myself in some of what you just shared. I really appreciate what you just wrote. I found a blind spot I had not seen. Oh my. Wow
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Coby Anderson One of the problems with a diagnosis of spiritual bypassing that enlightenment in some individuals can look remarkably similar to spiritual bypassing. The concept of mindfulness espouses that one can and should feel every emotion, acknowledge it existence, and then choose to act compassionately while engaged with that emotion. A truly happy and compassionate human, with full knowledge of the turmoil raging within herself, can seem remarkably similar to one who is simply bypassing all emotion. The dismissal of all who are happy and compassionate as spiritual bypassing is every bit as violent and intolerant as dismissal of those who express each emotion freely and fully. Each have their own spiritual practice that works for them.
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