The illusion is that we are separated from God's Love.
From that false thinking, there is immense grief.
All other losses add to this grief.
The stages of grief Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified are: (DABDA -1,2, 3, 4, 5)
D !. Denial (this isn't happening to me! Or just blanking it out of your mind)
A 2. Anger (surprising, confusing emotional outbursts causing guilt)
B 3, Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if... Why did that happen to me? Why did she leave me? Why now? victimy questioning on and on ad nauseum)
D 4. Depression (I don't care anymore - loss of appetite, wonder, suicidal and/or homicidal ideation - if last two go to clinic or hospital to see professional about need of medication)
A 5. Acceptance (I accept with peace what has happened and will happen)
Most grief counselors believe that the stages are cyclical, with no script or real pattern, except that one can heal by experiencing "acceptance" more and more clearly and definitely, until finally the nightmare circle is almost extinguished.
The most tricky "stage" that keeps reappearing is the "Bargaining" because of all the confusion it causes in our thinking. A strong victim bargaining confusion can actually lead to a "thinking disorder", that may require medication, however this therapist prescribes meditation first. From my experience personally and as a grief counselor, changing our thinking or the glimpses a still mind experiences during meditation, returns us to the peace of acceptance that we all want as our end point. Then some unexpected anger or depression may creep back in, however if one looks closely, there is probably a "why me" victim thought behind the anger or depression.
At the attainment of pure peace of acceptance, joy becomes the dominating emotion. We are One with God. Since God is Love, we are One with Love. Since God is Peace, we are One with Peace. Since God is Joy, we are One with Joy.
And then the ugly nightmarish cycle may come back, however, with the realization of Oneness, it is replaced much quicker this time with Peace, Joy and Love! All it may take is a change of thought or a quick meditation.
BirdWings
Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
up to where you are bravely working.
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead
here's the joyful face you've been wanting to see.
Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.
Your deepest presence is in very small contracting and expanding,
the two as beautifully coordinated as birdwings. -Rumi
Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
up to where you are bravely working.
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead
here's the joyful face you've been wanting to see.
Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.
Your deepest presence is in very small contracting and expanding,
the two as beautifully coordinated as birdwings. -Rumi
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