Feeling "special" today? I AM NOT A VICTIM OF THE EGO I SEE

Lisa Holliday

 

I am special is that true? No.
How do I react when I believe the thought I'm special?
I correct people and pretend that I'm not doing that. I'm critical of others, I try to one up people. I feel uncomfortable inside myself, I feel shaken and my heart beats fast, then I criticize myself for my arrogance and my face reddens and I feel shame and then I find all the reasons I should hate them and then I hate myself for that. I berate myself for not living up to my specialNess and feel like a failure. I become stressed out comparing myself to others and expecting myself to be more special, And then when I'm not I become filled with loathing. I act like an expert and miss out on learning things. I find some reason as to why the rules don't apply to me. And then let everyone know I am the exception. I create special reasons why I can't do the things everyone else is asked to do. I feel like a failure for not living out my specialness and give up.
Who would I be without that thought?
Without stress - feeling mentored and enjoying having people more experienced to guide me. I would have no pressure. I would enjoy my accomplishments no matter how small. I would feel connected to people instead of separate. I would notice all the amazing things I've created in the world and in my life and know they are special enough. I would enjoy creating with no interest in the outcome! I would ask for help. I would show my vulnerability. I would be a learner. I would not pretend to love what I don't.
Turn the thought around.
I am not special. No especially when I'm believing my thoughts.
My thoughts are special. Yes they create a whole world that I believe I have to look up to that has nothing to do with me in reality.

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  FreeMaui Landauer Here is also a case where the stressful thought is its own turnaround.

  
  
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  Rick Herranz Dear one. We all struggle with the ego thought system of seperation and specialness. That is the human condition in its un-redeemed and un- enlightened state. We are more alike more than the ego conditions us to believe that we see differences. That is the egos function. To see differences, it makes distinctions and makes comparisons. We must dismantle these functions of the wild and crazy ego that keeps our minds dysfunctional.

   

  
  
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  Rick Herranz We are " all equals" here in this community. No one greater or no one less. Both of these inferiority complexes and superiority complexes is egotistical. We are recovering human - beings.

  
  
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  Lisa Holliday All I know is when a thought is painful I do the work and I wake me up and I can find nothing painful in I'm not special at this moment.
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  Ron Alexander Outstanding Lisa! Rick, we need the "ego" to be in the moment in this body here on this plane. - the balanced healthy aware "ego" that is!
Lisa Holliday Ron, you know I am a big fan of the Aware ego! The Mind in love with the Mind.

Claudia Guerrero One day my teenager daughter asked me if I thought she was special. I told her "Yes, you are, the same as everybody else". I still believe that, we all are special. And that thought gives me joy and peace, so I haven't had the need to question it. :)
 
Rick Herranz Rene, the opposite of special. I would classify special is a degree of self- importance. Building others up where they feel good about themselves and have a heathy sense of self. Then after the opposite of special in humilty. Much more humilty. To brin...See More
 
 
Lisa Holliday If the work has pointed me to anything Rick, it is that this work is the end of the war with the ego. It is about meeting the thoughts we call ego with understanding, not "bringing it down" in self violence
 
Lisa Holliday Caudia I totally relate. It is all true and not true. That is what I love about this work. We go in and find what is true and what is not inside US not someone else. It is "special" to us. Lol. It is self-realization not teacher-realization. You r...See More
 
 
Carson Boyd The opposite of special is whole.
 
René Krömer Yes, that resonates with me, Carson. I like to see me as special as long as everybody is special. And then I like to call it unique. Everybody is unique in the apparent physical world, like we all have a unique fingerprint. That has nothing to do with ...See More
 
Rick Herranz Tell me more lisa, please. There is a lot of self- abuse going on with me right now. I need help to stop this war going on inside me
 
 
 
Lisa Holliday Rick my brother, put your thoughts down and use the work to question them, that might really help! I so understand what you mean. When I am mentally resisting concepts like ego, I create an internal war. I can really get myself suffering and totally relate to you. Do you need some support in doing the work itself? It is the only thing I have found that deeply penetrated and ends that internal chaos for me...

 
Lisa Holliday I am unique and I am not... I can find it all!
 
Rick Herranz Yes lisa, I do need help doing the work. I have a lot of guilt and remorse issues in regards to me being a parent of two adult children in which I am stuck with a lot of self- judgement and self- condemnation as a parent.
 

 
Carson Boyd Ok Rick, so you could have been a better parent. Is it true?
 
Rick Herranz No it's not true Carson.the 2 md question to the inquiry is also no it's not true. The third question is what gets me, when I get caught up into a unconscious addiction to self sabotoge to self medicate those beliefs that I am a bad parent becuause I ...See More
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Laurin Kyle Boyle So true. Humility and forgiveness definately restores the mind to listening to Spirit which is the minds Happiness:)
 
 
Rick Herranz Thank you Lauren. I want to give up the egos wrong - mindedness for the holy - spirits right mindedness. I am facing some " post traumatic injuries" underneath some addictions. Need help..Hope and healing. Feedback is welcomed
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Mary Curtis Hi Rick. It has helped me to realize that I really did do the best I could. It doesn't sink in right away. It takes keeping at it. It is also so very clear that my parents did a beautiful job. They just did. They didn't owe me anything anyway. You love your children and that is true. I think it will all come together little by little as you keep looking. Good luck
 
Rick Herranz Thank you mary for your kind response
 
Ron Alexander As far as the "ego" is concerned it helps me to state "I am not the victim of the ego that I SEE!" The key for me is being aware of my ego, and not allowing it to run the show! Watching it like one would watch a child, and I have read B.K. comparing the ego to an inner child.