Respond rather than react honoring the space between words.

thanks Ra - "I needed to see this - called a woman a bit.. the other day in a traffic incident (her fault) after she called me a bast...! I wish I would have responded with "bless your heat" instead of reacting. Sharing, thanks Deborah Spencer"

Respond rather than react!

Yes, that "gap" is important too for the ability to respond - responsability!

Lisa Gonzales Yes, once we start being able to observe the process, really see what's going on from the incident, to the emotion, to the thought, to the feelings, to the reaction... we can find that gap in there just before where we catch the thoughts spinning & building the feelings that cause us to want to react. Minding that gap helps to interrupt the process & allow that change from reaction to a responsible response. Sometimes that takes a lot of practice & some incidents are tougher, as are some personalities.

I call your description, Lisa, living in mindfulness!

Deborah Spencer I have trouble with some road rage too. I live in a tourist area where people don't know where they are going and feel it's perfectly fine to disregard traffic rules. I've decided that anytime I feel like flipping someone the bird, I'm just going to wave instead. Maybe someday I can add a smile too. Baby steps... ;)

Lisa Gonzales

Baby steps, indeed. I think i went from flippin the bird, to the dirty look with hand gestures that kinda indicate the "WTF?" attitude, to shaking my head & at this point, i pretty much have patience or wave as i see others wave in an apolo...getic manner sometimes. As i observed my own thoughts & behaviors... and driving habits of myself & others... i realized that what i saw/thought what others were doing wasn't always what it was & many times my reactions could've been unjustified... just as i've seen others's reactions to mine or another's driving. You'd be amazed what you begin to see when you can step back & just observe without all the feeling & reaction going on there. Some people are really quite comical... and i realized how rediculous i must've looked to others sometimes too. LOL

Thankas Inn Dharamshala very difficult subject in practice, but definitely the only thing worth doing, because it is the only way to lasting peace and joy ♥